Breeze

I got to get better,

Get through this pain,

Work everything out,

I need to feel the breeze on my skin,

The sun on my face,

Life is so beautiful,

I just need to feel it again.

Judge

As I sit down on the cold seat,

In the staffroom,

I look at my line manager,

Red blouse,

Glasses,

Red lipstick that does her no favours at all,

Back to work chat here we go,

She nods her head “right.” she says,

“How can you prove you are mentally stable to come back to work?”

I look at her startled,

No emotion nothing,

I don’t even know what to say, what the fuck,

She says the word mental like its a disease,

Like I am a crazy fucked person,

Looking down at me like she is better,

Like I am damaged,

Who told you I had mental health issues,

I ask her,

Nobody,

You assumed I did,

Yes maybe my head is all over the place,

When you lose your baby that happens I tell her.

 

 

 

 

Quote #25

huberthhumphrey152599

I am so lucky to have two best friends who support me through everything, who pick me up when am down and have my back for every situation. Supporting me through thick and thin and generally caring about my health. I cant thank them enough.

Quote #24

“Our skin will get old, but the conversations will continue to be the same or even more interesting. Listen to your elders, there is always something new to learn. See yourself IN them.” Manuel Osornio Image source https://www.pexels.com/ Stay Connected!!! Instagram:@_emotions_of_life_2016 Twitter: @emotionsoflife1 Thank you for considering supporting emotionsoflife2016 on Patreon! You make this blog possible

via Thoughts #981 — emotionsoflife2016

Go away I don’t want you

I thought I was getting over this anxiety, I have started taking my medication again. I have been feeling so great until today, I feel like its all coming crashing down. Anxiety for me is one of the worst feelings you can have and if you don’t suffer from it, its so hard to explain and for people to understand.

I had a few wines last night, when I say a few I mean a few bottles with my friend. I know when you are hungover you can feel down but today has hit me like a ton of bricks. Walking along the beach front with my two friends, putting my sunglasses on as I almost want to hide. My heart beating fast encase I see anyone that I know and don’t want to bump into ( Ex boyfriend.)

When will these feelings go, before I went out with shady ex I never had any anxiety but I think being in an emotionally abusive relationship can really affect you.

Them horrible feelings that you cant switch of, trying to take deep controlled breaths.

I don’t want you, go away.

 

The thrill

My head told me not to meet you,

I knew it was a bad idea,

Why do I put myself in these situations,

All I want is to be happy but I force badness upon me,

Its like I need the thrill,

I always have to be on the edge,

Dark hair,

Crystal blue eyes,

Confident,

I meet you in your car,

Believing we could just chat and get to know each other,

Like you promised,

I done a background check on you,

Not that it makes it okay,

I leave soon after as I realise you are only after one thing,

What is wrong with me,

I have so much to give,

I am a nice person,

I am a pretty girl,

So why do I let people disrespect me so much.