Do you ever feel like you are going lose control? That you don’t know what your purpose is anymore…that you feel like you are going to scream but no one is going to hear you.
My heart feels completely broken, I have so many emotions running around my head and a lot of these emotions are anger…I think about hurting my ex punching him and punching him and hopefully that would take the pain away. sometimes I feel so trapped like I cant control my own way of thinking. I sometimes feel so alone that no one understands me.
The last few months have been awful, I am always so anxious and nervous and sometimes feel the only way I can cope is if am on my own in nobody’s company. I know myself that its onwards and upwards from here and things are only going get better, because I have let go of the main toxic person in my life. I cant stop thinking if this toxic ex partner stopped causing me stress, abusing me and even going as far as to bully me on social media, maybe my baby wouldn’t of died. I think that’s my anger again…because these things happen, its a way of life…30% of people have miscarriages but that doesn’t stop it from hurting like hell, and stopping me from wanting to break his twitchy little neck.
All I ever wanted from this person was support I didn’t even want him back I just wanted him to have respect for me, to think about how his actions would affect me and my pregnancy.
I have moved home to spend a week with my family which will consist of eating a lot of nice food, reading, blogging, gossiping with my girl friends and realising how special I am. I got this!