Dear sperm doner

May 2017.

The pain I suffered, I cant undo.

All the horrible words you said to me.

I showered you with love and affection and would of done anything to make you happy.

You mentally ripped me apart, taking me to hell and back.

I gave you chance after chance to change really believing you would for me.

You broke me to the ground.

Living in a flat with you, I couldn’t even talk to you or say the right thing.

I knew you didn’t like to watch TV and you always called me lazy.

When you arrived home from work I would be on edge I would pause the TV unsure if I should turn it of.

You didn’t like me when I was drunk you told me you hated the way I acted so I stopped drinking.

You would spend your nights playing on your phone.

I cant believe I let you treat me so bad.

You had so much control over me telling me I was always looking at men I was never comfortable anymore.

I felt like a different version of myself you had broke me down so much I couldn’t get back up.

Then the anxiety started kicking in and I found it hard to walk down the street.

You told me I was overacting and looking for attention.

You dumped me at Christmas and slept with a girl in our house together.

You tried to blame this on me, you said we wasn’t going out.

10 hours after you break up with someone you don’t do that.

You broke my heart into a million pieces.

You tried to win me back for two months and blamed me because I didn’t know what I wanted.

When I found out I pregnant I thought you would of been a man.

You was the worst kind of person.

You blamed it on me and tried to say it was somebody else’s.

You are a very selfish person and you will be for the rest of your life.

I gave you another chance to make things work for the baby.

You couldn’t do this, you just abused me.

So I made the choice of having the baby and moving home .

You abused me for this called me the worst names for weeks.

You didn’t see my point of view.

You made me feel like I was a monster.

You tried to make me have an abortion telling me you didn’t understand why I was keeping my baby.

You chased me home from work, calling me the most disgusting names.

You emotionally abused me.

You even lifted your hand to me but made me think it was my fault because I slapped you.

You don’t call the mother of your child a whore.

The day I lost MY baby you was out with a girl and I saw you out and you still tried to blame me.

I don’t hate you E, I pity you. You are the worst kind of person I’ve met.

You have to live with this for the rest of your life.

you wont forget it, it will always be there, in the back of your mind.

You chased me to hell and back.

Guess what though.

I win.

Why.

I win because I can walk away head held knowing I am a good person and would of done anything for my baby.

You done nothing.

You are nothing.

 

drunk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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