Its a Monday evening, I have the day of work. I am sitting in my room of my shared flat listening to music, Texas actually. Feel good music, sipping my can of cider which I have just helped myself to out of our shared fridge.
I have a week to move out my flat and find something new, I have been losing control lately making silly choices and drinking far too much alcohol. I suppose drinking alcohol helps me block things out the way I am really feeling.
I have been hooking up with my room mate knowing he has a girlfriend, to make myself feel better about my own life. How fucked up can you get, I’ve been cheated on and I know how awful it is. The crazy thing is I got a thrill from it, The thrill of getting caught, knowing I was doing something wrong. I felt wanted for even a little while, Now his girlfriend has found out and its all came crashing down.
When will I learn, my mother always tells me my life is like a movie, not a good movie more like a fucking horror film.